Author: J Douglas Bottorff

Doug is minister of Independent Unity, author of 8 books, musician and photography enthusiast. He lives with his wife and cat in western Colorado.

Safe Spaces and the Soul You Seek

Question: In your book, The Complete Soul, you draw a contrast between the self-image and the soul. I’m not sure I understand the difference. Can you help?

My first response to this question was to compile things I have written about the self-image and present it as a summary. Lots of words give us a helpful definition of the ideas we’re trying to convey through them, but they always fall short of conveying the experience they are intended to describe. If you want to gain understanding of your self-image through experience, simply follow that knot in the pit of your stomach. Here you find that part of you that is scrambling to protect and sustain a world built around the person you think you are supposed to be. Your self-image is the wizard of Wizard of Oz fame, the one hidden behind the curtain busy pulling the levers, twisting the knobs and pushing the buttons required to give the appearance of reality to a world that cannot exist on its own.

Because we have spent a lifetime developing our self-image, we accept it as our true identity. We pray for its comfort, peace, health, success and prosperity without even giving a thought as to why it experiences the kind of lack that sustains that abdominal knot. We have defined our soul from the perspective of the self-image, attributing the inadequacies we feel to the false notion that it, the soul, is spiritually incomplete. In our thinking, we have subjected the soul to time and space. We believe it will attain completeness in another time and in some other place. The self-image, not the soul, is subject to time and space. It changes over time and it feels better, at least momentarily, adding things to its stature that it does not currently have.

I have come to believe that 99.9% of our spiritual studies are done from the perspective of trying to improve the self-image. I believe Emilie Cady understood this as well, which is why she cautioned against continuing reading many books on the subject of spiritual development. As most of you know, Jesus’ parable of the buried treasure is among my favorites on this subject because it depicts the treasure (the soul) as complete. At the point of discovery, the man ceases his studies on treasure hunting and begins taking appropriate action toward treasure recovery, a shift that occurred the instant the man experienced the treasure.

We are so fully engaged in treasure hunting that we have become unwilling to even consider the truth that we currently stand in the field that contains the very treasure that we long for. We cannot experience it with our noses buried in books. We can sharpen our expertise on treasure hunting. We can increase our spiritual vocabulary and give others the impression we know all about the spiritual quest. But this is not what we truly seek. I will never find the I that I hope to become. I can only find the I that I am.

Most seem to be baffled by the notion that their soul is complete now. From the perspective of the self-image, the evidence against this idea is overwhelming. I don’t feel complete. I struggle. I need more understanding. My thoughts are not consistently positive. I don’t have enough. I have not connected with my soul mate. I do not love my neighbor as I should. I look the other way when I see the beggar on the corner. I experience anger and I am still judgmental. I obviously have a long way to go.

The thing is, you will never perfect your self-image to the point where it meets these false standards of completion. These standards are not based on actual exposure to the soul. They are based on the pop culture that has grown up within the so-called spiritual community. Better known as race consciousness, this culture is driven by the shallow trends of appearance, belief and supposition rather than by direct exposure to the changeless reality of the soul. Under the guise of the spiritual quest, we are attempting to build a safe space for the self-image. We believe we will reach our nirvana when we cushion the self-image with enough material goods and spiritual self-esteem to protect against the threat of change—a false hope that can never be fulfilled.

Everyone must find for themselves that narrow gate that opens to the soul. The wide gate to the self-image is easy to spot and pass through. Just follow the crowd. Learn the language of the popular culture. Look the part. Build the proper library. Do the cruise. Don the designer yoga tights and assume the correct posture. When you do all these things and still find that the knot in the pit of your stomach persists, then perhaps you will break away and discover the true treasure, the soul you seek, has been present and calling to you all along.

Why Am I Here?

Who hasn’t experienced moments when things seem to be drifting no place in particular and our efforts to establish a firm direction seem in vain? At such times we may turn our attention to life’s meaning and our purpose for being here. There is no shortage of explanations designed to address these questions. Some think of our experience on earth as a test to see if we deserve the keys to our own mansion in the sky. Though I admit early on having accepted a version of this, I struggled trying to reconcile the disposition required of one who would devise and administer such a test. It’s like a person creeped out by spiders drops one into the toilet bowl to see if it can escape. If it makes it to the rim, it earns passage to the great outdoors. If not, it gets the big flush.

I passed through a longer period holding the view of the soul evolutionist who insists the earth is a school and we are here to learn lessons designed to advance our soul’s condition. But then what lessons could a soul learn through a body that shuts down 90% of its capacity? We’re stuffed into one body after another for as long as it takes to remember what our soul already knows?

I consider it to my credit that I was never drawn to the offering of orthodox science who assumes we are here as an accidental byproduct of the laws of physics. From this point of view, our primary purpose is to perpetuate the species. Once we’ve fulfilled our biological duty, we spend our remaining years drifting toward oblivion while seeking the upside of growing old.

If we start with what we actually know, we can reach a couple of practical conclusions concerning our purpose. First, we are here because we can’t be anyplace else. Most of us have tried to escape from here, but no one has succeeded. Try as you may, you have an eternal arrow pointed at you with the caption that reads, You Are Here. No one has an arrow with a caption saying, Finally, You Are There. Regardless of where you might want to be, you are here. Walk across the room and you’re still here. Fly around the world and you’re still here. Walk on Pluto and call your mom. You: Mom, I’m just calling to say hi. Mom: Where are you? You: I’m here on Pluto. Mom: What’s the weather like? Did you bring your coat?

The next thing we consider is what we mean by the word here. For most of us, here is our body and our physical surroundings. Why am I here in this body surrounded by this particular set of circumstances? A little thought reveals that here is more an attitude than a physical location. Let’s say your here is a deserted tropical island in the Pacific. If you’re vacationing on this island it will mean one thing. If your plane crashed in the ocean and you, the lone survivor, finally drifted to this same island, it will mean something different. One mindset sees the island as a wonderful escape: I can’t believe I’m here! The other sees it as a prison: I can’t believe I’m here!

If we conclude that here is more an attitude than a set of circumstances, we are confronted with a choice. Thinking of our island example, we pose the question: Am I here because my plane crashed, or am I here by choice? There is no right and wrong answer, there are only consequences to the choice we make. I am either a victim of circumstance or I am the adventurous vacationer. The fact is, I am here. Now what do I do with it?

Let’s add a few other items to our list of things we can say we know. Without a body, we cannot talk to another person. We can’t enjoy a cup of coffee or make a pina colada from all those coconuts on our island. We can’t even pick up a paper clip.

To my list I add another item of things I can say I know. You may or may not agree. I know that the existence of my soul is not dependent on my body. To the contrary, the existence of my body is dependent on my soul. My body is a perfectly designed vehicle that allows my soul to interface with the material world. My soul was not forced into this body. I took it on because I wanted to have this earthly experience. There is no better way to do it than through a body. Which earthly experience did I come for? All of them—the conversations, the coffee, the pina coladas, the paper clips and all the other things that make up life. My purpose on this earth is not found in any specific mission or goal. My purpose is to experience here through the vehicle of a body. When this body drops dead, I’ll still be here, and I’ll still have the power to choose what I want to do with it.

As a castaway on our island, we spend our days focused on survival and scanning that endless horizon for rescue. Our purpose is to signal that tiny dot that may be the ship that will finally take us to that magic somewhere over there. If, on the other hand, we are on our island by choice, we spend our days exploring the wonders of our world and let those tiny dots pass unnoticed.

Our fulfillment of purpose, then, is not found someplace on this earth. Being here on earth is our purpose.

Waking From the Dream

Question: If I understand you right, you are saying the self-image is something separate from the soul. The soul, which is already complete, is the real of us. If this is true, how do I reclaim the soul as my true identity?

Let’s say someone gives you tickets to the Broadway production of The Wizard of Oz. As a member of the audience, you seat yourself before a stage. The house lights are still up, the curtain is drawn and the audience murmurs in quiet anticipation of the drama about to unfold before them. At this point, there are two worlds. There is the world of the audience and the anticipated world yet to unfold on the stage. The music begins, the lights go down, and a hush falls over the audience. At this moment, a transition occurs. Two worlds merge into one. As a member of the audience, your world is dimmed while the world on the stage before you is brightened.

To make this arrangement work, you must suspend your disbelief and agree that the world you live in is no longer the real world. The world that is taking place on the stage is now the real world. Your problems are of no concern. It is now the problems of the protagonist, in this case Dorothy, that become the full focus of your attention.

Think of Dorothy in Oz as your self-image and you, the observer in the audience, as your soul. Dorothy and her problems are really not your problems. You and your house have never been caught up in a Kansas tornado and dropped into a strange new world populated by munchkins, flying monkeys and good and evil witches. But you momentarily allow yourself to be caught up in this world as if it were real.

The self-image is a character that you and I create and drop into this play we call our life. The mistake many make with this analogy, however, is that you, the audience member, have written the play, set the stage and created the cast. They suggest that you are the actor, the self-image. This is not true. Regardless of how convincing this play is, there is always a part of you that remembers that you are you and this play and its actors are something else entirely. You have simply agreed to give your attention to this world, but you never fully enter it. You remain an observer.

Those who suggest that you are the actor in the play will advise that if you don’t like the play you are experiencing, simply write a new one. In other words, if you don’t like your life the way it is, get your creative imagination flowing, break out the vision board (story board), visualize and create a new set, a new story line and a whole new cast that is more to your liking.

But you are not the actor or the producer of this play. You are a member of the audience, an observer. The observer neither creates nor acts in the play. When the play is over, you, the observer, get up and return to a different world. Get your self-image to write all the plays it wants but you, the observer, will never participate in a single one.

The breakdown in this illustration occurs with the realization that your soul never attempts to escape its reality. It will never buy a ticket to a play produced by your self-image. It never enters the world of the self-image as anything more than a distant observer. At the soul level, you know you are not the self-image or the world of problems it has created. Your soul always knows it is sitting in a theater observing a play that is being acted out by the self-image.

So, who is this observer? And what is the true nature of this stage you call your daily life? Can you leave this theater created by your self-image and step into a world that requires no acting, no suspension of disbelief, no role playing, no convincing others you are something you are not? Can you enter this world with no makeup, no costume, no techniques or acting skills that require much effort to sustain?

The beauty of The Wizard of Oz is in its portrayal of a story within a story. Dorothy’s adventure in Oz was a dream brought on by a severe blow to the head. In truth, she never left her home. She became the actor fraught with the problems of a world that did not exist. In this sense we can think of the Dorothy who resided in Kansas as the soul. The Dorothy who found herself in Oz is the self-image. The remedy to all her Oz-based problems was not found following the yellow brick road. These problems were solved the moment she woke up. The real Dorothy exited the theater.

As you think of your life and all of its many issues, it will help to focus on yourself as the observer who is looking at all of this. Your soul is not suffering from physical illness or limitations. Your soul does not experience financial challenges, hunger or fear of the unknown. Your soul has never been chased by flying monkeys. Your soul is that part of you that looks upon all of these things with the understanding that they are projections of the self-image.

While you do not want to ignore this play and pretend like it is not going on, you do want to make the conscious distinction between the onlooking soul and that actor that is your adopted self-image. The problems of the self-image are not the problems of the soul. You are in that world as the observer, but you are not of this world you are observing.

Think of the events of your day from this perspective. Who knows, you may join Dorothy in her great relief of waking from this very strange dream.

Is This Desire Right?

In a spiritual context, an issue often raised is one that revolves around desire. Is this thing I desire for my highest good, or is it born out of greed and selfishness? On one hand, there are those who approach God as a great genie standing ready to grant them any wish they make. On the other hand, there are those who feel deprivation is good for the soul, that any desire we may have is a temptation that should be kept in check.

The perspective offered by an understanding of the complete soul can be helpful here. Does this desire advance a strength, or is its purpose to protect a weakness? In a broader sense, does this desire rise from my soul, or does it rise from my self-image? A soul-based desire involves the greater expression of life, love, power and intelligence. Desires that rise from the self-image are usually a reaction to some deep-seated fear generated by feelings of inadequacy.

You may recall Jesus stating that he came that others may have life and have it abundantly. He was interested in helping people become free of the shackles of spiritual ignorance. He desired to share the joy of his own inner freedom with others, that their joy may be as full as his. He empowered those who would listen with the understanding that the same innate intelligence that cared for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field would also care for them. Fulfilled from within, the bird erupts in the sweetness of song. The lily expresses itself as beauty and fragrance. As we draw closer in awareness to the freeing truth of God as our own spiritual source, we too become a conduit of inspiration to others. A true, soul-based desire will reflect this.

In contrast, a desire that rises from the self-image is usually fear-based. Fear of failure, fear of lack, fear of the future, fear of losing our health are but a few of the many ways fear manifests.

I once knew a woman who covered her refrigerator with affirmations for healing. As a child, she suffered from severe health challenges and she was deathly afraid of going back there. The weakness she was trying to protect was her fear of disease. Her affirmations were actually a reinforcement of this fear. Another man, who grew up in dire poverty, became a millionaire who was plagued with the fear of losing everything. His affirmations, while appearing to be centered on prosperity, were actually centered on his fear of poverty. The irony is that no amount of material wealth could eliminate the weakness of his fear-based self-image.

The motive behind our desires may not be so pronounced. We can, however, check our motive with a few simple questions: Am I looking for a way out of the life I am now experiencing? Do I see the fulfillment of this desire as a means of escape? If the answer is yes, I am probably trying to protect a weakness. If I understand that my life, just as it is, is the perfect environment through which I may let the light of my soul shine, then I am seeking to express a strength. Conditions that seem unacceptable at one level can become opportunities to express spiritual assets we did not know we had.

A cup held under running water will fill and overflow. A cup of water standing alone will eventually evaporate. When our desires rise from the soul, we are like the cup held under running water. If we are the stand-alone cup, our desires are centered around the fear of evaporation. The soul-based understanding of ourselves includes the continual flow of water. The self-image defines itself only by the water it has in the cup. To become something more, it must go out in search of more water. More money, stronger credentials, more friends, more control over others all become the means of addressing our fear of evaporation. Our treasure is in what we can acquire and where our treasure is, there our heart is as well. And because we can never get enough, our heart perpetually aches for more.

In most cases, it is not the thing we desire that matters; it is our reason for desiring it that makes the difference. We are either looking for ways to direct our overflow, or we are looking for ways to compensate for our fear of evaporation. It really doesn’t take a lot of thought to figure out which of these two we are doing. Like the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, we too have a body with material needs. Why is the bird and the flower taken care of and we are not? It is because they do not have the ability to create a self-image perceived as separate from its spiritual source. Because we humans do have this ability, we have created a self-image that feels all alone. To compensate for this feeling, we obviously need to escape from where we are. In this quest to escape, we desire things we believe will help us get away from the life we are experiencing.

Though the inadequate self-image would love to have the wings of the bird, the bird does not use its wings to escape its life. And the lily does not use its beauty to trick others into taking it away from its boring circumstances. It blooms right where it is planted.

If we are confused about the nature or validity of our desires, it may be best to spend time releasing them all and exposing ourselves to that inner fountain of life that is our true source of fulfillment. When you can truly look at your life just as it is and see it as your perfect place for expressing the strengths and the beauty of your soul, your need to compensate for a spiritually weak self-image will vanish. This single desire to bloom where you are planted will put all your desires in harmony with the life that is now bubbling up from the depths of your being.

The Quest for Enlightenment

I used to think of spiritual enlightenment as a state of mind one accomplished at the end of a very long journey. Over the years my understanding has changed dramatically. Enlightenment is not about achieving a level of development that transcends our soul’s current condition. Enlightenment is experiencing this journey from the awareness of our soul’s completeness. There is no place on earth we can go to get more of who and what we are at the soul level. No amount of study will increase the force or constitution of the soul. No amount of study will actually bring us closer to the omnipresence of God.

The standard model of the quest for spiritual understanding is based on a negative. I am currently something less than I will be in the future. To be spiritually enlightened is to understand that I am already everything that I will ever be. This does not mean that the limited self-image I have adopted is adequate just as it is. The self-image will never be adequate. Nor does it mean that I am finished aspiring, dreaming and achieving. It means that I recognize myself now as something much more than this body-based facade that I have called me. Any spiritual lack that I may feel is not remedied by the consumption of more information of a spiritual nature. The remedy is removing the blinders of the self-image that block the truth of who and what I am at the soul level.

The concept of soul development or soul growth is a spiritually debilitating myth. Instead of embracing what we are, this concept directs our focus to what we are not. If I live with the hope of one day becoming something more than I am right now, I do not allow myself to even consider what is here already. It sounds arrogant, even blasphemous to say I am complete. Only a rare handful of humans, after all, have attained spiritual enlightenment. How can I claim that I am even close to having what they had?

The problem here is that we do not know what they had. We only assume we know. What we assume we know is based on the negative conclusion that whatever they had was obviously something more than we have. But if this were true, why would these enlightened souls bother to tell those who would listen that the things they were doing, others could do as well, and greater things? Why would they devote their lives to opening the spiritual eyes of others if those others were destined to remain blind? Of what value is a spiritual teaching that promises fulfillment in a future state we are not likely to reach?

The soul is not a thing to be developed. The soul is complete. Being unaware of this truth does not make it less true. Spiritual enlightenment occurs the moment we know it is true. That we do not always live from this truth does not pull us back over the threshold of understanding we have crossed. We can never return to our former conviction that we are something less today than we will be tomorrow. The omnipresence of God can never be more present than it is right now.

Because of the connotations we place on the notion of spiritual enlightenment, it is probably best to purge this term from our vocabulary. It stirs an emotional distance between where we think we are and where we think we should be. The hard work of eliminating this perceived gap is misplaced effort. In meditation, we close our eyes and search for something foreign, something we believe the great masters could see but we do not. We do not see it because that which we are seeking does not exist. We are chasing the phantom of false perception.

What we are looking for can be found with our eyes open or closed. It can be experienced in quiet and busy moments. We can know it in the peaceful rush of the surf or in the rush of the busy city. We will never find what we hope to become. We can only find what we are already. This is where our quest for enlightenment ends.

Well Intentioned

Much is made of the “power” of intention. Intention that does not rise from the authenticity of the soul is the hamster who gets off the exercise wheel in the same cage.

I think most would agree that the motivation behind the bulk of our desires is to change for the better the quality of our experience. Where we will find disagreement is in our definition of the word experience. 

Experience is usually associated with what happens to us. I experienced a road trip. I experienced an hour at the supermarket. I experienced a visit to the dentist. A day consists of many such events, some pleasant, some not. From this perspective, the secret of improving the quality of my life is to have more good experiences than bad. If the interview was successful and I get the job, the increase in pay will allow me to have more good experiences than bad. So I set my power of intention on getting that job.

All of us have changed a circumstance that made us feel better. This feeling is common enough to dub it the honeymoon phase, a reference to that carefree period spent by newlyweds before they get down to the business of living their lives together. We also know what it means when someone announces, the honeymoon is over. This is that stark realization that there is actually a marriage attached to the wedding. Ask someone how their wedding went and they might say, It was fantastic! If you ask that same person how their marriage is going, they may say, Do you have a few hours?

There are many who set their intention on finding their soul mate, getting married and living happily ever after. There are also many who end up saying, I took you for better or for worse, but you’re a lot worse than I took you for. This can be translated into just about everything we do. There’s the wedding and then there’s the marriage that follows. Much of the rhetoric around intention is focused on the wedding rather than on the implications of what it means to be married.

I have observed that while much is made of the “power” of intention, intention that does not rise from the authenticity of the soul is the hamster who gets off the exercise wheel in the same cage. Because we are under the impression that we are really getting someplace, we set our sights on running a bit further every day. If we regularly run 1 mile, we set our intention on doing 5. Yet we still get off in the same cage. Free of this cage, our exercise routine becomes something much different.

The Complete Soul points to the way out of this cage. Our experience has less to do with events and more to do with what we believe to be true of the self engaging them. If you intend to seek out only those events that make your self-image happy, you’ll do well to remember the marriage attached to the wedding. I’m not throwing cold water on weddings or marriage. I’m calling our attention to the truth that the soul is the happiness we seek. The attempt to draw it from anything less is always temporal and usually fraught with disappointment.

The most productive focus of our intention is toward the understanding that the soul is already complete, that no external accomplishment will bring us closer to this universally desired realization. This does not mean that we purge ourselves of all desires and shun goals that would ease the difficulties associated with feeding, clothing, sheltering and transporting the body. It means that we examine the motive behind our intention. Are we seeking to protect a weakness of the self-image, or are we seeking to express the strength of the soul? If we conclude that it is the former, then what can we do now to release the unnatural barrier that is negatively impacting our experience?

In his book, From Science to God, physicist Peter Russell makes this interesting observation: “The ancient Greek word for forgiveness is aphesis, meaning “to let go”. If we apply this meaning to our spiritual quest, we can see the act of forgiveness as coming down to a single point: Forgiveness is a letting go of our attempts to satisfy the endless demands of an inadequate self-image and turn our intention instead on experiencing the soul’s completeness. I believe this is what the writer of Proverbs had in mind when he wrote:  “With all thy getting, get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7).

Understanding the motive behind our intentions will answer the question of whether we are attempting to protect a weakness of the self-image or seeking to express the strength of the soul. The first will forever go unfilled. The second is the actual fulfillment we crave.

 

The Breeze I Feel

When my world begins to crumble, I know it is time to stand on the edge of this once comforting nest, stretch my wings, and prove to myself that the breeze I feel, but cannot see, will carry me into a broader new world.

We find a measure of comfort in the acknowledgment that change is the single most consistent element of our external life. We know from experience that Heraclitus was correct when he observed that one cannot step twice into the same river. As we think of those times in our life when a change we feared turned out to be a wonderful growth opportunity, we can inspire others going through something similar.

Yet when change knocks on our door today, we may find ourselves struggling to reinvent the wheel of faith. It is easier to take an optimistic view of change from a distance than when it is staring us in the face. While many artists feel their best piece is their last, it is easy to believe our present crisis is our worst.

When my world begins to crumble, I know it is time to stand on the edge of this once comforting nest, stretch my wings, and prove to myself that the breeze I feel, but cannot see, will carry me into a broader new world.

I am not what I do. I am not the circumstances that surround me. I am not the people I know. I am not the one others have turned their backs on. I am not this body I inhabit or this career through which I express. I am more than all of these. And as Walt Whitman wrote in his Song to Myself:

There is no stoppage and never can be stoppage, If I, you, and the worlds, and all beneath or upon their surfaces, were this moment reduced back to a pallid float, it would not avail in the long run, We should surely bring up again where we now stand, And surely go as much farther, and then farther and farther.

When Your Life Falls Apart

While I am reluctant to offer any firm definitions of God, I am perfectly comfortable describing four characteristics of God that I, and many before me, have come to recognize. These characteristics, or fundamentals, are life, love, power and intelligence. Of these four, I have had the greatest difficulty understanding the role or function of love.

I had no trouble stating that God is love and, therefore, loving, but this imagery always suggested the big parent in the sky caring for and watching over his children. It is relatively easy to draw some comfort from such an image, especially in those moments when life seems to be falling apart. The feeling that God loves and cares enough for me to guide me safely through my trying times was assuring. Still, it left me wondering why a loving God would allow me to have such experiences in the first place.

I have since come to the understanding of love as that aspect of God that paves the way for the soul’s freer expression through the material plane. Its work is two-fold. Love dissolves all hindrances to the expression of the soul and it attracts those conditions that allow for the freest expression of the soul, our true self. This dissolving and attracting action is internal, but its effects ripple through every aspect of our material experience.

To understand this, we have to take our attention away from external conditions and focus on the internal process that influences the way our life seems to be going. The soul, though presently in a complete and unhindered state of freedom, is not expressing this freedom through much of our daily experience. Most people could furnish a lengthy list of reasons why this is true, all of which would have to do with flawed conditions. I would be happier if I could get out of this job or this unsatisfying relationship or if I could just make more money.

It is this act of externalizing the source of our problems that has given rise to an increased interest in the so-called law of attraction. If you visualize the better job, the perfect soul mate or the boatload of money that will make you happy, you will surely draw these things and your life will be wonderful. In truth, this practice does little more than feed our addiction to a low-level form of spiritual alchemy. With a slight change in our thinking, a restatement of intention or an easy shift into an attitude of allowing, we hope to magically turn the base-metal of our experience into the gold of happiness, peace and abundance. From the basis of spiritual development, this practice would be better described as the law of distraction.

The fatal flaw in this practice is its attempt to protect and bolster the self-image. All fear and all feelings of lack originate at the level of this manufactured self-image, this senses-based self-portrait that Paul referred to as the carnal mind or mind of the flesh. The dissolving work of love does not focus on the bad relationship, the unsatisfying job or the shortage of cash. It focuses on the self-image that is responsible for casting these negative shadows over the landscape of our external experience. Likewise, the attracting work of love does not take place in the realm of people, places and things but at the soul level. The soul is the fulfillment we seek. The more of the soul’s light that shines in and through us, the more attractive we are to conditions best suited for our soul’s expression. In other words, our life becomes on earth as it is in heaven.

When our life appears to be falling apart, our knee-jerk response is to do everything within our power to pull it all back together. What we cannot do on our own, we call upon God to do for us. This usually involves a kind of spiritual bartering of promises to do things for God if God will just get us through this mess. But here’s the thing. The very mess we are experiencing can likely be traced to the inadequate self-image. The answers we seek are actually our attempts to protect the many weaknesses of this straw man that we have created. We are not calling upon God to actually help us. We are calling upon God to help protect the weakness of this self that is responsible for generating the problem.

Love, therefore, does not work to dissolve the many problems of this self. Love works to dissolve the very self that is praying for help. Its attracting aspect is to broaden our awareness to the truth of the soul, to prompt us to the revelation that I am not this frightened self-image, I am this eternal, God-sustained soul.

Our fears provide a spotlight on the self-image. If we follow them to their core, we find they always represent our attempts to protect the weakness of the self-image. When you understand your soul as light, you can see that your self-image is an unnatural object that blocks this light and casts that shadow you see stretching through your life. Try as you may, you find there is nothing outside of yourself that will fill in the darkness created by this shadow. Only the removal of its cause—the self-image—will remove the shadow.

Follow the spotlight of your fear and you will find the self-image cowering in prayer, begging God to remove the thing that is upsetting its little kingdom and making it miserable. When you call upon love, you must be willing to let love do its perfect work. It will not focus on dissolving the many things you fear. It will focus on the self-image that is doing the fearing, that very one you are striving to protect. As this shadow-casting self-image weakens and dissolves, the attracting light of your soul’s authenticity shines through.

This is what Jesus was talking about when he spoke of the need to be born again. The ritual of baptism is the symbol for this new birth. One goes down into the water as one thing and emerges as another. This describes a shift in our awareness from a frail self-image to an eternal soul.

Think of the problems you now face as a kind of baptism. You enter them as one thing and you emerge from them another. If approached in this way, your troubles become a kind of holy water that will cleanse you, not of the things you fear, but of fear itself. Love is the baptizer. In its safe embrace you surrender to its submerging you beyond the realm of your worst nightmares and to bring you safely up into a world made new.

Your life may indeed be falling apart, but only because it is falling together. Let the negative appearance remind you that love is doing its perfect work in you now.

Getting Over There

A man on a walking journey comes to a river and there appears to be no way to cross. He walks up and down the river looking for a bridge or a ferry but he finds neither. As he sits down to ponder his problem, he notices another man approaching the river on the other side. When this man reaches the river’s bank, the first man shouts out, “How do I get over there?” After a long pause, the second man shouts back, “You are already over there.”

I believe it is fair to say that most people approach the spiritual path in a way similar to this story. I am here, I need to be there but there is an obstacle between where I am and where I need to be. This obstacle takes many forms. It can be a feeling that one is not demonstrating the riches of health, wealth and friendship that should be theirs once they reach spiritual enlightenment. It can be the inner turmoil of purposelessness, the aimless wandering of not knowing why they are here and why they have come. Their life on this side of the river appears to be crumbling but on the other side, things will surely be different.

Here is an experiment you can perform. Go out into a natural setting and choose a place to stand for a few moments. Look around and carefully take in your surroundings. Think too of the air you breathe and the temperature. Spend a few moments observing your internal experience, what you are thinking and how you are feeling as you inhabit this place. Now pick a spot about a hundred yards from where you stand and walk to this place. Again, take a few moments to study your new surroundings, notice the temperature of the air you breathe and the thoughts and feelings you are having in this new location. Look back at the place you were standing.

Is your experience in this new location all that much different from your experience in the first? Yes, your surroundings are different. But how different is your actual experience? If you had some problem from home that was bothering you in the first location, did you not carry this same problem to the new? Did moving from one location to another change the way you think of yourself? Do you feel more peaceful and empowered at one point than you do another?

You may conclude that there is little difference in the way you feel regardless of where you stand in this natural setting. You feel good everyplace because you are momentarily free from all the little rubs and problems connected with your daily and weekly routine. There is obviously more peace in this natural setting and this peace allows your attention to move into an expanded view of your life. If you could just stay in this place, your spirit would be free to soar to new heights.

Really? Let’s suppose you become lost in this natural setting. You hike through a stretch of forest and you come out into a meadow that is different from the one you expected. You retrace your steps only to discover that nothing looks familiar. For the rest of the day you continue your frantic search for the way out, but you do not find it. Night begins to fall. Are you still inspired by this place or does the safety, warmth and shelter of your home now seem to offer more freedom? Is it not easier to dream and aspire when you are not preoccupied with survival?

Crossing the river, in whatever form the river takes, cannot be the goal of our spiritual endeavor. If we affirm and accept that God is omnipresent, then we are confronted with these questions: Why am I not experiencing God right here and right now, on this side of the river? Can God possibly be more present there than here? If we are honest, we will admit that we are not actually seeking God. We are seeking a way to feel better about ourselves. We want more peace and freedom. And we are associating peace and freedom with something on the other side of our river.

The irony is that God is the peace and freedom that we seek, and we are immersed in God. Just as a fish will be no wetter a hundred yards from where it now swims, so we will be no closer to God on one or the other side of our river. Our spiritual quest for a greater abundance is, in practice, an affirmation of lack that can never be fulfilled on this side of the river. Like the proverbial carrot dangling from the stick, we take a step toward it and the elusive carrot takes an equal step away from us. We redefine omnipresence as everywhere but where we stand. Regardless of where we are, we never truly stand in God. There is always some perceived lack, some reason we cannot experience peace and freedom, some thing we need to acquire or resolve before we are entitled to declare our life a spiritual success.

I recently listened as a very wise man was asked what we should do to alleviate the suffering of the poor. My paraphrase of his response: Why would we assume that only the poor suffer? Doesn’t the evidence show that the wealthy suffer just as readily and as easily as the poor? He was right. The impassible river that seems to stand between us and our peace and freedom makes no class distinction. Both wealthy and poor flock to teachings that promise relief from the bondage they experience in their present life. The wealthy may, in fact, travel ten times the distance, shelling out great sums of time and money to find that perfect guru that will get them across their river. Yet they never find a satisfying resolution to their unrest.

Each life, with all its unique circumstances, is the perfect place to find the peace and freedom we seek. Is there some pending disaster looming on your horizon? Use it to prove to yourself that that which is in you is greater than that which is in the world. Release the mental and emotional turmoil you are creating and move into a place of peace and freedom. Do not make your inner experience dependent on the resolution of this condition. You are on the right side of the river to accomplish this. Bring your peace and freedom to your life as it is, and I believe you will find your life responds accordingly.

Decisions, Shimmering Lakes and Shovels

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was at a moment of uncertainty that this quote from Emerson was again brought to my attention. As I read the commentary that followed the quote, I could see quickly that the message was centered around the acquisition of success and wealth. I make the decision to be successful and wealthy, and the universe conspires to make it happen. The assumption is that in the past, I have unconsciously made the decision for failure and lack, so the universe conspired to make that happen as well.

What is so often missing from this type of teaching is the who of who is making the decision. If the who is the self-image, the meaning of decision will be one thing. If the who is the soul, the meaning of decision will be something entirely different. The goals of the self-image manifest in many forms, but the main motive is always to shore up, protect and advance against an inherent sense of inadequacy. The self-image is forever inadequate because it lacks the true foundation of the soul. The soul is a believed-in abstraction rather than the firm foundation upon which the house of consciousness is built.

A specific decision is not the kind of decision that will cause the universe to conspire to make it happen. Why? Because it is not a decision. You cannot wake up one day in your misery of lack and say, “Today, I decide to be wealthy.” We use the term worldview to indicate one’s understanding of the world in which they live. A more important term would be selfview. A decision made from the need to protect and advance the self-image does nothing to change one’s selfview. The decision to hold a particular selfview is the only decision that the universe conspires to make happen. This is the decision you and I are making at all times. This is why our life looks as it does.

If you are issuing decisions designed to protect a weakness, the universe will conspire to help keep you weak. If you are attempting to run away from something, the universe will furnish you with endless reasons to keep running. In your thirst, you will see the shimmering lake in the desert ahead. You will make the decision to go to this lake. When you arrive at the place where the waters appeared, you find the landscape looks exactly like the one you fled. You also find that another enticing lake shimmering in the distance and your selfview prompts you to set out again, this time certain the waters are real.

To think that the universe will create a lake in the desert because you decide you want it is a good definition for spiritual insanity. Spiritual soundness takes the approach of asking why you are in the desert in the first place. Why have you adopted the selfview that keeps you thirsty and surrounded by illusions of water you can never reach?

Jesus referred to the water of which we can drink and never thirst again. This water was not found in the wells of the world. He was speaking of the soul, that eternal spiritual foundation from which our being arises. The decision to know this core of being is the only one the “universe” will get excited about, for it is the only decision you can make that advances the universe’s cause.

Take a moment to observe all the shimmering lakes that clamor for your attention. These usually involve greater health, material success, wealth, happiness and peace of mind. Whether or not we actually set goals to acquire them, even longing for them is a decision to pursue them. We have made the decision to believe that the acquisition of any one of these shimmering lakes will make us something more than we are now.

While it is true that we all want these things and we should not deny our experience of them, our more productive approach is to consciously connect with that self, the soul, that is already adequate, that is already whole, successful, without need, happy and at peace. With our thirst quenched from within, those shimmering lakes that surround us take on new meaning. We discover that a few feet beneath the surface of the ground upon which we stand, there is an inexhaustible aquifer that has gone unnoticed by the world in pursuit of the shimmering lakes.

Watch. The universe will gleefully furnish your shovel.