Dear friends,
I want to let you know that Beth and I, and our daughter Audrey, were informed last Tuesday that our son, Ashley, passed from this plane. He lived in the Los Angeles area. The cause of death appears to be heart related, though the coroner’s report is inconclusive at this point. This is the kind of news no parent or sibling wishes to receive, yet here it is on our doorstep. This news has triggered an emotional journey ranging from shock and grief to feelings wafting in like a warm breeze that carries the promise of a new Spring of comfort and meaning.
Over the last forty-five years, I have conducted many funeral services, but always as the comforter, the pastor, the counselor, the one whose purpose was to inspire a higher vision of this sometimes baffling experience of life in a body. It has been my role to help others navigate through what can feel like an earthly maze, with each turn often leaving us with more questions than answers. I have done my best to show others there are answers, to step back and see life as the soul sees it–eternal, beautiful, meaningful, and lived with purpose.
I have also acknowledged the pain of loss, the feeling that even the broadest perspective of life and death cannot sooth. And now I am presented with this side. The mind floods with a mix of memories and the overwhelming sadness that we will never speak to our son again, never hear his voice, or feel the warmth of his hug. It is a void nothing can fill. The comforting words of family and friends are a much needed and appreciated healing balm that is so important on this unexpected journey. Ultimately, however, this is a path that every person in our place must walk alone. Beth, Audrey, myself, our family, and those who were closest to Ashley are, in one sense, walking through this together. Even so, we are each called upon to find within ourselves that fountain of strength, wisdom, and vision that enables us to rise from this darker pain of loss to the bright light of joy of what has been gained by knowing this beautiful soul.
It was at the moment of conception that Ashley announced to me that he was on his way. He arrived on April 20, 1978. I felt him as a very warm and peaceful presence, unlike anything I had experienced. At the time I did not know what had happened, but I soon found out. I experienced it once again when Audrey announced her coming. This time I knew our family was growing. When I think of this, I am reminded of a line from James Dillet Freeman’s poem, The Traveler: “Our life did not begin with birth, it is not of this earth.” I’ve always had the sense that our children intentionally joined Beth and me on our journey. Ashley now continues his life in another way, another dimension, and we will miss him terribly. But we are also grateful that he stepped in and shared with us this part of his eternal life. He leaves us with a gift we will always cherish.
Beth and I thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts in this challenging time. Ashley has moved into his next experience in living, and we see his every step lighted with the love of God.
J Douglas Bottorff 
It is with great sadness to lose such a special friend. Ashley meant to much to me and my family. I met Ashley 20 years ago when I first moved to LA. As a fellow musician, I was immediately drawn to his music. His gift of songwriting was inspiring. He spent so much time in our home the past three years, taking care of our home and us. I miss his kind and gentle presence very much. There is such an absence in our house since he has gone. We had so many wonderful conversations on the long car rides we would take to my many appointments while I was ill. Ashley touched us in so many ways and we send our heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
Thank you, Jacqueline, for your kind and comforting words.
Dear Doug and Beth,
As we all know, words are woefully insufficient to relay the feeling of sadness for your family that this news brings. When you were minister at Christ Church Unity in Springfield, my son, Nick was involved in the youth program with Ashley, taking ski trips, etc. These experiences made such an impression on Nick, Ashley was so inclusive and kind at a time when my son needed it. Thank you for raising that type of person. Please accept our heartfelt condolences and prayers. 💗
Brenda Cloyd
Thank you Brenda for your good words. It is always good to hear the good ways in which Ashley touched others. We do miss him, but we trust in his ongoing the greater good that is there for him. Beth and I appreciate your heartfelt condolences and prayers.
Precious ones— My mind went from shock to numb back to shock and then to at-one-ment with all of you. I know every nuance of what you are going through— I lost my husband to suicide in 2008— and It was a loss though I knew why he chose it, and did my railing at him for doing so. I set my mind to be in sync with you, with Ashley, and with the process he is now enjoying— for I know clearly that he is. I admire you beyond any words we’ve ever shared, Doug. You have kept the high watch unlike any other peer of my time. Thank you. And thank you for allowing us to walk with you through this sad yet not sad time. I know, oh I know…. Love you all, Colleen Brown
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What a beautiful comment, Colleen. Thank you so much. You bring a special light into our lives. Thank you so much.
My love goes out to you and the rest of Ashley’s family.
Thank you Emmy. Your love is welcome and needed.
Dear Doug, Beth and Audrey,
James and I are both deeply sorry and saddened to hear of Ashley’s passing from this plane of existence and we wish you peace, comfort and healing as you learn to let go of Ashley as you have known him in a physical sense to embracing him in other ways.
We believe that Ashley is bathing in Divine Life, Light and Love and safe and that he continues to be connected to each and all of you, through your love for each other, and for him. We have found that even though we share this belief and our faith can comfort and reassure us, as you described below “feelings wafting in like a warm breeze that carries the promise of a new Spring of comfort and meaning.”, we also know that those moments are then followed by waves of mixed emotions, grief, pain, and heaviness of spirit, as we make our way along our grieving journey.
May all the years and comfort that you have shared with others who lost loved ones in the past be returned to you abundantly with meaningful, loving, soul satisfying peace. Please know that James and I will continue to hold you in our prayers and trust that even though you requested that we not contact you a few years back, we hope that our sincere condolences and love will be accepted. Also know that we are here for you at any time and that we love you, miss you and hope that we can open our lines of communication once again.
Loving blessings
Deborah and James
Thank you Deborah and James. This means a lot to both of us. Blessings to you. Doug
No words can covey the depth of sadness this post brought. I pray you, Beth and Audrey the comfort and strength only God can give. Blessed be your memories of you beloved son Ashley.
Thank you Jackie. We appreciate your prayers.
Ashley has always been a force to remember. So witty, funny, and talented. He would never hesitate to play his guitar and sing for me. As his aunt, it is an honor to have known him in this world and I look forward to seeing him again. The grief is hard but knowing that he has moved on into a better experience is comforting.
Thank you Tamra. He was all those things. And I agree that he has moved into a better experience.
Dearest Doug and Beth, thinking of you and your family with Love and Peace and Healing as you move through this experience. I know that Ashley is soaring into his next Adventure. I hope you will be able to feel his strength and love surrounding you.
Much love and appreciation to you both 💛💛💛
Thank you Barbara. We appreciate your good words and thoughts.