Tag: mental-health

New Beginnings

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Life unfolds in cycles. If you observe these cycles closely, you will notice there are times when things seem to be falling apart and other times when they are falling into place. We are often confronted with the familiar question: Is the cup half full, or is it half empty?

This question points to an important truth. The answer is not determined by the condition of the cup, but by how you are feeling at the moment you are viewing it. If you are optimistic and full of expectation, the cup appears half full. If you are feeling weak, vulnerable, or worn down by circumstances, the same cup will appear half empty.

Many spiritual teachers have embraced a simple principle: life is consciousness. The condition of the cup does not need to determine how you feel. When you determine how you feel, the condition of the cup often takes care of itself.

Have you noticed how, during a low moment, a single encouraging word—a phrase from a book or a line from scripture—can suddenly inspire a new way of seeing? A cup that looked half empty moments before now appears half full… and filling. Do not be discouraged during emotionally low moments. Refuse to set your course by these brief seasons of diminished vision.

Always remember that in the twinkling of an eye everything can change, simply because you allow yourself to change the way you see.

Each new moment holds the potential for a new beginning. It does not matter how negative you may have felt just moments ago—you can begin again now. Set a new energy in motion. Create a positive, encouraging affirmation and begin speaking it with joy and expectation, for these emotions lay the groundwork for transformation.

Refuse to see yourself as a victim of circumstance or personality. And when you slip back into a half-empty way of thinking, remember that life is dynamic. There is always reason to hold even the smallest glimmer of hope, affirming that the good you desire is already coming forth.

As we stand at the threshold of a new year, choose to see it not merely as half full, but as brimming with possibilities—many of them still unimagined.

Event and Experience

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A Simple Approach to Mindfulness

J Douglas Bottorff

Imagine we’re having one of our beautiful fall days. You step out your front door and are greeted by the warmth of sunshine, a cool breeze, and the beauty of fall colors. You take a moment to take in the sensations of the day. Now imagine you’ve just received some unsettling news. You step out the same door into the same fall day, but you don’t notice the sun, the breeze, or the colors. You are absorbed in the news.

In both scenarios there are two things going on: an event and an experience. The event is you stepping out your front door. The experience is what is happening within you. The first time you are carefree; you have a pleasant experience. The second time you are preoccupied with your unsettling news; your experience is completely different.

This simple illustration shows us that while events can influence our experience, our experience can also color the event. We cannot always choose what happens, but we can become aware of the inner lens through which we interpret it. This is the essence of mindfulness.

When we pause long enough to notice what is happening in us rather than to us, we step into a deeper level of awareness. The mind begins to settle. Our attention shifts from reacting to observing, from judgment to acceptance. Even a difficult event can become a teacher, revealing where our peace depends too heavily on circumstances.

We all know that life brings both calm and storm. Yet the power to choose how we meet each moment is never taken from us. By remembering the distinction between event and experience, we create space for a more conscious response. We may still prefer sunshine to rain, but we no longer feel captive to the weather.

Each moment, then, becomes an invitation to live awake. When we meet life from this inner steadiness, the event—whatever it may be—ceases to define us. We begin to taste a quiet freedom, the awareness that peace is not found in the changing scene before us but in the still presence that observes it.

Your Intuitive Compass

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Have you ever said, “I should have listened to myself?” You were faced with a decision. Everything seemed fine, but a nagging feeling lingered that something wasn’t quite right. You pushed the feeling aside, dismissing it as needless worry only to regret it later.

You have also had the opposite experience of saying, “I’m glad I listened to myself!” Again, faced with a decision, others said one thing, but you felt another, and you listened to yourself.

We all grapple with the conflict between head and heart, or, spiritually speaking, intellect and intuition. In her book, Lessons in Truth, Emilie Cady writes, “Intuition and intellect are meant to travel together, intuition always holding the reins to guide intellect.” We are culturally programed to do just the opposite. Facts, not feelings, should be our guiding criteria.

And yet, we want to distinguish between intuition and feelings, especially emotion. We’re familiar with the phrase, blinded by love. We can relate to the disillusioned bride who says of her ex, “I took him for better or for worse, but he was a lot worse than I took him for.”

At its deepest level, intuition is the still small voice of the soul. It’s that inner awareness that understands we desire more because we are more. No decision, however regrettable, will diminish our soul. This understanding empowers us to live free of the fear of making wrong choices. After all, feelings of hesitation can just as easily be driven by the need to protect a weakness rather than evolve a strength.

We come to a fork in the road. We want what is best for ourselves and others. Do we turn right, or do we turn left? First, we affirm that either way will reveal something important to us. If we are protecting some weakness, we will discover it, and if we’re ready, we can correct it. If we are evolving a strength, we will know that as well. The intellect says we must always make the right choice. The intuition, holding the reins to guide the intellect, reminds us that even a wrong choice can lead to deeper understanding.     

Emotional Independence

Through spiritual means

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When many of us think of self-help as a means of improving our life through changing our attitude, we may focus mainly on our thinking. As important as this is, we do well to consider our emotions and who or what is controlling them. Is it even possible to choose how we feel, or are we satisfied to let the world make this choice for us?

I have pointed out that we can change our thinking but still feel as if bad things are brewing, like being caught in an undercurrent that pulls us out into water way over our heads. We may scarcely be aware of this emotional riptide until we suddenly notice how far from shore we are. Then, it doesn’t take much to send us into a fear-based reaction to the smallest of things.

How do we gain emotional independence? The first step is to realize we can. The emotions we harbor are of our own choosing. If we do not accept this as a fundamental fact, then the world will choose our emotions for us. And we all know what that is like.

The second step is to ask ourselves how we would feel if this emotionally unsettling appearance was resolved. We allow ourselves to experience the emotional release into the serenity of feeling all is well. Freedom, peace, joy, and new creative stirrings take the place of emotionally induced stress. Maybe not instantly, but we can get there.  

When Jesus spoke of the truth that sets us free, the freedom we long for is first felt at the emotional level. We might think of it as unconditional emotion, feelings that arise, not because of a positive turn of events, but because we feel blessed to simply be alive. In this case, our emotion is prompted by an inner knowing, the stabilizing awareness that we are part of something much grander than our ever-changing surroundings.

We can gain emotional independence, first by realizing we can, and secondly by learning to feel the freedom we desire. Check yourself at the feeling level now. How would you feel if all your life’s burdens were suddenly lifted?

A Simple Way to Change Your Mind

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We credit Donald Altman, former Buddhist monk and recognized mindfulness expert, with this quote: “If you truly want to change your life, you must first be willing to change your mind.” While most of us respond positively to such a statement, we also know that changing our mind in an impactful way is easier said than done. And yet Moses, in an absolute moment of crisis, offered his people a formula that works every time. He said, “Stand firm, lift up your eyes, and see the salvation of the Lord.”

If you are in a moment of crisis or uncertainty, the first step is to stand firm. What does this mean? You are to make the decision to get off the mental and emotional roller coaster and bring your full attention to your present mind action. If you are going to change your life, the only time you can do it is right now. Stand firm in this understanding. To lift up your eyes is not a command to look to the sky. It’s a command to stop looking at the problem and turn your attention elsewhere. Where do you turn your attention? See the salvation of the Lord. See your present concern resolved. You are on the other side of the Red Sea with your Egyptian hoard no longer in pursuit. Get the distinct feeling that your problem is resolved.

A technique like this is a little like an exercise machine. I have an elliptical machine, and I have to confess that I look at it more often than I actually get on it. I always feel better when I use it. Unfortunately, just looking at it does nothing for the cardiovascular system. The same is true with any spiritual technique. Reading about it is like setting the exercise machine in your room.

Make a firm decision to confront your situation. Pull your attention from the worst case scenario and turn it to the resolution of your issue. You do not need to know how things will work out, but just commit yourself to the feeling that they are. We are not seeking to change our life from this day forward. We are seeking only to change it within this now moment. This simple change of mind can make a profound change in the quality of your life.    

Return of the Steady State

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Astronomer Fred Hoyle (1915-2001) was a proponent of a theory of creation known as the “steady-state model”. It is interesting that he favored this theory over the “big bang”, though he was actually responsible for naming it. In a BBC radio interview, his use of the phrase, however, was intended as ridicule.

It has suddenly dawned on me that we can combine these two ideas, as they both represent principles that can help us understand the metaphysics of prayer and the manifestation process in general.

In his parable of the house built on rock and one built on sand, Jesus referred to mental conditions; one steady as a rock, the other shifting and as unstable as sand. The soul is the steady, unchanging rock. Our reaction to life’s events can quickly turn into an emotional roller coaster as shifting and as unsteady as sand. Let’s think of our soul as in a perpetual steady state of power and peace. Our perceptual response to negative people and conditions is like a big bang of emotion that explodes into the kinds of experiences that keep us awake at night.

Last week I talked about vaporizing the people and conditions that disturb us. Of course, this refers to a mental/emotional exercise. We hold a picture of the disturbing person or circumstance and we imagine love dissolving it. Traditionally this is called denial or release, but vaporizing the person or condition may be a bit more gratifying. On the screen of our imagination, we see the image of the problem area dissolve into nothingness. Through the power of unconditional love, we allow ourselves to feel the mental and emotional freedom and satisfaction of releasing the negative imagery into the nothingness from which it came.

We then forgive ourselves for going down that path in the first place. We also remind ourselves that we will not confront the person or condition unless and until we are given clear guidance to do so. The toothpaste is out of the tube, and we’re not going to try to put it back in. We’re going to vaporize it. We know we are successful when we can hold the situation in our mind and feel good that the proper resolution is forthcoming. When we attain this stabilizing condition of mind, we have returned to the steady state.